Category Archives: Journey

Unfinished Story

04 Tuesday Sep 2018

Posted by in Authentic, Captivity, Choices, Freedom, Hope, Journey, Life

≈ Leave a comment

Not end of story 9-2018

MY STORY HASN’T ENDED!

This was my first response to this image I received from my long-time friend, Shirley Mewhinney. As co-mentors, we process life together.

We’ve relayed stories about our past and laughed, and cried, and mourned with each other. These stories have shaped who we are, but we celebrate each time we let go of the past and live as the person God desires us to be today. We marvel at this truth: who we are today is not who we will be tomorrow.

Sometimes Shirley and I find ourselves momentarily believing that the stories of our past define who we are today. When we recall the regrets and missed opportunities, the heartaches and pain, the mistakes and disappointments, we begin to believe we will never change.

Shirley’s reflections

Over the years, I often felt my story ended in a country far away but not forgotten. Past experiences sometimes defined my life. The steps forward felt as if I was letting go of my dream to live and minister in that country for many years to come.  

In looking back, I realize that the choices and chapters of the past few decades represent only part of my story. This is not where my story ends as there are more chapters to be written. Even in fragile moments, and during wilderness wanderings, I am still living the story God wants to write through my life and by faith, I have taken steps that have led me out of the wilderness. 

My future remains uncertain. It won’t be the same as I dreamed many years ago. Slowly, a new dream will emerge as God uses past experiences – both joyful and sorrowful – to mold and equip me for a new ministry to others who have been wounded by pain and disappointment.  

As the above image indicates, at any given moment, I have the personal power, and the power of the Holy Spirit, to say, “This is not how my story is going to end.” 

My reflections

In earlier years, the fear of rejection held me captive to the approval of others. To protect myself, I stayed aloof and reserved, didn’t allow others to know me well, and avoided any risk of disappointing them. I believe I convinced myself that this was the best way to live and the best kind of person to be.

God wasn’t finished writing my story, though. He began to reveal that my isolation kept me in bondage to my fear and prevented me from experiencing the life He intended me to have. Slowly He gave me courage to come out of my prison and take small steps toward releasing my fear and experiencing freedom to become the person He wants me to be.

I’m learning to trust God for the responses of people and stay focused on His view of me. Through consciously making these choices, I’ve been able to enjoy the new chapters God is writing in my story and the opportunities He’s giving me to help others find freedom from their fears. My life can become a continuing story of God’s faithfulness.

 

How would you describe your life story so far? What positive and negative experiences have shaped who you are today and affected the way you think and live? Do you believe that God is still writing your story…that He isn’t finished yet?

Buying me back

28 Wednesday Mar 2018

Posted by in Choices, Faith, Freedom, Hope, Journey, Rejection

≈ Leave a comment

Redemption took on new meaning for me last night.

As part of our Easter week remembrance, I joined with close to 100 people who were seated at tables in my church’s fellowship hall to participate in a Passover Seder. Jeremiah, a Messianic Jew involved with Jews for Jesus, stood at the front table. He represented Jewish households and communities around the world who will participate in the Seder on April 11 to mark the beginning of the Jewish holiday Passover.

The elements of the Seder retell the story of how God set the Israelites free from slavery in Egypt. As a Jew who embraces the Messiah, Jeremiah also explained the Christian symbolism of each element that amazingly points to the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Messiah.

Throughout the evening, our leader emphasized the word “Redemption” and asked us to repeat the meaning: “God bought back what rightfully belonged to Him.” God created us, but we were separated from Him because of our sin, so we needed a Savior who would pay the price to “buy us back”. God gave His Son Jesus to die for us so we could enjoy a personal relationship with God.

Jeremiah concluded with a story of redemption. It centered on a young boy who crafted a small, beautiful boat, with the help of his father. The last thing the boy did was paint his initials on the side. After father and son walked to the water’s edge, the son placed the boat on the surface and held on to the string he had tied to it.

Grinning from ear to ear, the son watched the boat sway and drift on the glassy water. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind ripped the string from his young fingers. He ran along the bank as fast as he could, but the boat sped ahead of him. He was devastated.

One day while walking on the sidewalk in their small town, he glimpsed something in a store window. It looked like a rusty boat. Drawing closer, he squinted through the glass and saw his initials.

Rushing into the store, he announced. “That’s my boat. Can I have it?”

The owner explained, “Another young boy brought that in and I paid him for it. You can have it if you pay me $10.”

The boy raced home and emptied the money from his piggy bank onto his bed. Gathering the needed amount, he ran back to the store and laid his coins on the counter. The owner smiled, walked over to the window, picked up the boat and set it in the boy’s waiting arms.

He walked outside, smiling with joy. Then looking down and cradling his boat he said, “I owned you twice. I made you, then I lost you, and now I have bought you back.”

That picture of joy will remain in my heart as I consider, once again, the indescribable love of my Father who allowed His Son to die so He could “buy me back.” Redemption.

Something New

31 Wednesday Jan 2018

Posted by in Choices, Faith, Hope, Journey

≈ Leave a comment

This morning I was struck by the privilege we have to watch a “new day” dawning simply because God ordained it. He gives it to us for our personal enjoyment and to highlight His presence. He has great things in store for us each day beyond what we’ve already planned. This may be an “aha” moment, or an experience that brings spiritual growth. It could be victory over a situation that has bothered us for some time. He knows what each new day needs to contain for us, His children.

Then there’s each “new year”. When it arrives I always feel as though I’m picking up a new book to read. It fosters a spirit of anticipation. Through God’s Word we know that this year will be full of unexpected plans and dreams created for us by God before the foundation of the world. Do you wonder what things will unfold in your life in 2018? What things are you trusting God to bring about for you?

As we turn our calendars to February, we may find reminders of “new opportunities” ahead. Perhaps you will step into arenas you haven’t experienced before. This may cause some apprehension. When I am about to encounter new things and would rather hold on to what’s familiar, this favorite promise helps me align my perspective with God’s heart:

“Do not call to mind the former things.
Or ponder things of the past.
Behold, I will do something new,
Now it will spring forth;
Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
Rivers in the desert.”
Isaiah 43:18-19

 

 

Living Legacy

24 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Choices, Faith, Journey

≈ Leave a comment

I’ve suffered another loss. Unexpected. Not ready. Are we ever ready?

Thomas was 81. Many of us witnessed his physical changes during the last decade of life. Yet, his heart for impacting people for Christ never wavered. So the news of his stroke caught us off guard.

My friendship with Thomas and his wife Molly began almost 50 years ago. We served God together in a Christian organization, and I never envisioned I would have the privilege of being Thomas’ executive assistant for 27 years.

Time had passed so quickly. Now it was standing still.

Thomas laid in his hospital bed for 14 days, unable to speak yet able to hear. Most of those days his three children surrounded around his bedside. During that time God reminded them of their father’s comment, “Why do people say all those nice things about someone after they’re gone? Why don’t they tell them while they’re still living?”

That birthed an idea. “Why don’t we invite people to say what they want Dad to know now?”

Emails poured in and they took turns reading each one to Thomas. They held the cell phone to his ear so he could hear a call or a voicemail left at a designated number.  Once in a while he’d mumble a weak response; other times a tear would flow down his cheek as he listened to words of endearment. Some who lived nearby visited in person.

This “living memorial” went on for days.

I sent an email because I didn’t trust my emotions to hold up while I expressed my love, admiration, and appreciation for all he poured into my life that shaped who I am today. When he lingered, I asked God for strength to call so he would hear my voice before his journey to heaven. I especially wanted him to know I’d keep on serving God for the rest of my life.

A couple days later he was gone. Immediately transported into the presence of God because he had embraced God and begun a personal relationship with Him.

I wondered, “What will my life be like without seeing Thomas, hearing his contagious laughter, or receiving his words of love, friendship, advice, and encouragement?”

Brokenhearted, I turned my question to God. God helped me see that Thomas had finished the work He had given him to do. He’d left a legacy that had helped countless people know how to have eternal life and serve God wholeheartedly.

Now it’s my turn to continually build the legacy I believe God wants me to leave behind by helping others know God and live for Him.

The way I spend each day is important. I never know when it may be my last.

 

The Strength of Grief

28 Monday Sep 2015

Posted by in Hope, Journey, Loss

≈ Leave a comment

While reading a fiction book recently, I came across a large portion of dialogue between the two main characters. Their conversation caught me by surprise. The young woman endured a painful, horrible, and long-lasting experience. The words of hope her new friend offered her centered on grief and how to move past it.

Reading those words altered my way of processing grief and assessing my progress. Immediately I desired to share these excerpts with you. The author happily granted permission.

This month’s excerpt centers on the strength of grief. Next month’s quotation talks more about our walls and the freedom we can experience. I pray this will encourage you in your own journey of grief.

“Grief isn’t fragile. It comes along with strength, facing the losses in life, the reality of what you won’t have back, then turning to the future to create what can be built. Grief is part of accepting what was; it’s what takes the sharp edges off your history. It’s emotion and it’s reality. It’s mostly not hiding, letting your mind present what needs processing and dealing with all the implications of those memories.”

“. . . You survived by hiding. It’s still how you cope when events or situations hurt you. I’m glad it’s a strong instinct because it’s getting you through. But it’s a defense. Grieving is about letting down that shield, not having to keep that defensive wall in place. When you can lower it and not get overwhelmed by the memories, you’ll know your healing is mostly complete…and be ready to move on.

“You’ve learned to endure, to live strong in spite of all that’s been thrown at you. That’s powerful and good.  . . . I think you’ve dealt with matters by a sequence that was basically ‘It happened, it was horrible, it’s over, move on’ and your emotions learned to function that way as well. But that was a learned pattern. Freedom is going to shift your emotions to something’s that’s more expansive. You’ll feel things with larger and wider emotional swings again, because now you have the freedom to experience those normal emotions. It’s going to be a good thing.”

Excerpts from pages 276-277 of Taken.
Used by permission of the author, Dee Henderson.

Video

What’s the Point?

25 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by in Hope, Journey, Loss

≈ Leave a comment

Sometimes darkness descends on a perfectly fine day. The darkness blocks the  sunshine and any glimmers of hope we are experiencing on our journey of adjusting to our loss.

Darkness invaded my world one day. Perhaps I should have expected it, since it’d been only two months since losing my brother. But I didn’t. During my devotional time with God that morning, I began praying as I always do. But my prayer evolved into an uncharacteristic attack on God, whose love and faithfulness had sustained me during my brother’s ten-month courageous battle against leukemia.

“What’s the point, God?” I cried out. The ensuing verbal wrestle with God revealed the deep turmoil of my heart.

Four days of darkness came and went. No one knew the heaviness inside of me. The fifth day God brought me a miracle. The story in my video will explain.

The Birth of a Book

01 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by in Faith, Hope, Journey, Loss

≈ Leave a comment

Usually a birth announcement relates to the joyous arrival of a new boy or girl in someone’s family. This particular announcement refers to the arrival of my new book, LIFE THROUGH LOSS – Facing your Pain, Finding your Purpose.

The idea was conceived as a result of the cascading illnesses and death in my family. The content grew in size as each story painted a picture of how God intimately prepared my family members to live with Him in heaven. As words spilled onto pages and calendar months marked the progress, gradually I became aware of God’s real reason for birthing this book. He wanted me to honestly portray my own heartache and grief and proclaim hope for the future. Because of my journey of loss I found life. I long for others to realize they don’t need to stay stuck in their grief. They can find new life just as I did.

If you are someone one who has been left behind through the loss of someone you love, LIFE THROUGH LOSS may be just what you need to find hope for your future. Perhaps you know others who are watching loved ones suffer or who have already said their good-byes. This book is designed to inspire and encourage people to take the next small step toward discovering God’s purpose for them in their unexpected season of life. To order through Amazon, click on the book cover in the sidebar. Or click here http://amzn.to/13E0aTW

LIFE MAY BE WAITING FOR YOU JUST AROUND THE BEND

“As a physician, and one who has lost my mom and recently my only sister,
I have personally seen death and dying. Gail’s God-breathed stories offer
hope, joy, peace, and purpose to those who face a life-threatening illness
with their loved ones.”

ANGELITA N. KURLE, M.D.

The First Post

28 Saturday Jun 2014

Posted by in Choices, Journey

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Welcome to my blog!  I invite you to visit the ABOUT section where you can read about my desired purpose for this new blog. You’ll also learn about the main fear I face in life. Yes, I’m an “ordinary person” who experiences fear just like you do.  But we can live above our fears. It is possible!  And our discoveries can put us on the path to freedom where we can experience the kind of life God has planned for us.

I look forward to blogging with you about my honest struggles, my discoveries about freedom, and steps of progress on my journey of life.  Please let me know what you are facing.  I want to be on this journey with you.

Gail Porter