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Live above Fear

Category Archives: Fear

Fear or Faith?

24 Tuesday Mar 2020

Posted by gaillporter in Faith, Fear, Hope, Life

≈ 2 Comments

I invited my friend, Shirley Mewhinney, to share her recent experiences
during the unexpected crisis that has rocked our world.

There isn’t a better message for our world today than Gail’s blog title, Live Above Fear!

In our private times, and even in public, most of us are experiencing moments of fear and anxiety as we wait out one of the most severe times of testing our nation has ever faced, a new war known as COVID-19.

I’ve heard that our current world disaster closely rivals the last great crisis, World War II, for its toll on our national resources and stamina. I was born during the World War II era, so along with my age, my diabetes puts me in the current highest COVID-19 risk category. Needing to accomplish tasks while isolated in the confines of my own home has increased my anxiety.

Thoughts rush through my mind:  What is happening out there? Why can’t I have a part in helping with such great needs?  How will I keep myself supplied with the products I need? How can I stay safe when the enemy is invisible? Am I taking enough precautions? Will my loved ones be safe? How can I live above fear?

Early one morning I woke up with food on my mind, not because I was hungry; but because I felt anxious about how I could maintain my routine of going out to purchase fresh produce and other healthy food to keep my well-controlled diabetes stable.

Feeling somewhat helpless, I reached for my daily devotional book* published in 1993 and turned to March 17. I discovered a message relevant to 2020. The title was a question, “Do You Worry?” followed by a passage from Psalms.

All living things look to You for food,
and You give it to them at the right time.
You open Your hand, and You satisfy all living things.
Psalm 145:15-16

The author then explained that the word “worry” comes from a word meaning “to divide.” When we worry, our focus is divided and we become our own problem. I knew I needed to refocus and trust God to provide what I need.

A couple mornings later, I woke up concerned about my health. What does a person do if they begin experiencing symptoms of the coronavirus? During my isolation, I had heard many “don’ts” but hadn’t discovered many “do’s.”

Again, I reached for my devotional book and turned to March 19. “Trust in the Lord” was the heading this time, accompanied by another portion from Psalms.

God, I look to You for help. I trust in You, Lord.
Psalm 141:8

The author spoke directly to my heart’s concern when he said, “Do not put your hope in things that can change—relationships, money, talents, beauty, even health. Set your sights on the things that can never change: trust in your heavenly Father.”

God knew I needed to trust Him for nutritious food and ways to respond to health issues. I refocused my thoughts on His love and faithfulness. He is the One who never changes, though everything in our world may shift, instilling fear in our hearts.

Some may remember how brave and united our country was during World War II.  Civilians and military alike were rushing into harm’s way to save our nation. Today, heroes in our nation and around the world are putting themselves in danger to avert the spread of this invisible virus, and one great way we can all participate and live above fear is to pray for them and one another as we have been doing in all times of threat.

Even though we have and will suffer heartbreaking losses personally and as a nation, we can trust our never-changing God. With His power and grace, our nation did come back following World War II, and we will come back again from COVID-19.

* Walking with the Shepherd, by Max Lucado

 

 

 

 

 

Man at the Sea

25 Monday Feb 2019

Posted by gaillporter in Captivity, Choices, Fear, Freedom, Hope, Journey, Rejection, Strongholds

≈ 4 Comments

He sat in stillness, as if mesmerized by the crashing waves in front of him.

“Mind if I take your picture?” I ventured.

“That’s fine.”

After the photo shoot, I asked him the standard beach-side question, “Where’re you from?”

“I live here and usually come once a day. What brings you here on a week day? How’d you get time off?”

With a smile I replied, “I recently retired so I can come any time.”

“What’re you doing now that you’re retired?”

I offered the first thing that came to my mind. “Well, it’s given me time to write a book.”

“What’s it about?

“Fear of rejection.”

“That’s something we all face. But you just walked up and talked to me.” He looked up from his sandy perch with a smirk.

Caught off guard by this realization, I paused.

He admitted, “The thought of rejection holds me back from saying things or presenting my opinion because I want it to be perfect, you know?”

“I know. I used to be afraid of what people might think of me. Making progress, though.”

“What are the principles in your book?”

After presenting the three sections—Living in Captivity, Breaking Strongholds, Tasting Freedom—I told him I had God in my life and He had set me free from the things that kept me in bondage.

“I want to buy your book.”

That led to an exchange of names and the full title of my book.

Then Alex told me more. “I belong to an AA group. I used to go to keep from drinking. Now I go because of the fellowship. And I feel safe.”

“How long have you been sober?”

“Seventeen years. I don’t want to take one drink, because I don’t want to give up what I have in the group.”

“That’s wonderful. God wants to help you stay sober.” After a pause I asked, “Alex, where are you on your spiritual journey?”

“I’m into spirituality but not religion.””

“God isn’t into religion either. Instead, He wants to have a personal relationship with us. Prayer is the way we can talk to Him, just like you and I are talking.”

Pausing for a moment, we looked toward the rolling waves, blue sky, and brilliant sunshine and agreed that all of it reflected God. Unexpectedly, Alex said, “I sometimes think of a pearl and how the irritation of the sand inside the oyster creates something beautiful.”

“And each pearl is unique,” I said.

“It’s like we are unique, but imperfect. When we speak up, we don’t need to be afraid to be imperfect. In my AA group, I listen but don’t say much about myself.”

With a big smile, I exclaimed, “You can tell them about our conversation. Then it’s like a story, not just about you.”

“Yeah, Jesus told parables, which are like stories.” His eyes shone as if he were considering the amazing possibility of being able to tell his story.

Sensing this a perfect time to explain more, I told him that Jesus had died to pay for our sins so we would be able to know God personally. When I asked if he’d heard about Jesus dying on the cross, he nodded.

“Alex, would you like to pray with me and ask God to come into your life? Or do you want to pray on your own?”

“I will pray myself, because you told me how to do that.”

As we stood together, he said, “Thank you for stopping to talk. I’ll buy your book. I know it will help me.”

“Alex, do you realize that God arranged that you would come to this spot and I would choose this time to walk by?”

We smiled at each other with the realization that this was an arranged appointment we would never forget.

As I walked away, I felt like my feet were barely touching the sand. Silently, I asked God to give Alex courage to pray, and to share his beach story and book with his AA group. I could only imagine the lives that might be changed when they listen to him speak up without fear.

I’m praying that this spiritual seed-planting and watering time will blossom and flourish in the heart of Alex, the man God brought to the sea that day.

https://www.redemption-press.com/shop/will-the-real-person-please-stand-up/

 

Numbers Don’t Matter

02 Friday Nov 2018

Posted by gaillporter in Connections, Fear, Freedom, Hope, Life, Rejection

≈ 2 Comments


“I think we will have a good group coming today,” Lanita told me.

She had organized a women’s tea in her home because she wanted to give me a chance to speak about my life and promote my new book, Will the Real Woman Please Stand Up? Based on her ad in the community newspaper and the flyer she’d passed out in her neighborhood, she expected 30-35 women.

That day she and five ladies involved in her ministry flurried around the kitchen, while the fragrance of spicy teas and freshly-baked scones permeated the air. Soon they carried a colorful array of teapots to the mahogany table and set them near the silver platters of autumn-decorated cookies and blueberry scones.

The clocked ticked. But the doorbell didn’t ring.

Finally, one guest arrived. Just before the starting time of 1 p.m., three more women bustled in the door. After preparing their decorated name tags and hurrying to gather their tea and refreshments, they moved to the spacious living room, which overlooked a sun-kissed lawn and majestic trees.

Lanita stood near the fireplace and welcomed everyone, smiling as if to an overflow crowd rather than only nine women. We were disappointed; God had a better plan.

After Lanita introduced me, I stood and smiled at the array of eager faces, unaware of the life experiences represented in that room.

“We all face some kind of fear. For me, the fear of rejection ruled my life throughout my childhood and into my adult years. I want to show you how God began to set me free.”

After explaining about the pain of growing up feeling sad, lonely, unloved and unimportant, I admitted that I’d built a wall and worn a mask to protect myself from rejection by family, friends, teachers and eventually coworkers.

Near the end of my time, I lifted my book from a side table. “I want to read one story. It is about my sweet curly-haired 9-year-old great niece who broke through my aloofness and pulled down the remaining bricks of my wall.”

Later, I said, “Have you felt rejected in your life? I understand. I’ve been there. But I’m here to tell you, with God there is hope. He wants to set us free so we can stand up and say, ‘This is the real me!’”

After walking to the couch and sitting next to Lanita, I asked the group, “Do you have any questions?”

Instead of a question, one woman told the group that her husband had died recently, and she’d had to begin making decisions herself. “It was scary, but I’ve started seeing changes in myself. I like my life and the person I’ve become.”

Her honesty started a snowball of sharing. Another recent widow piped up, “Thank you. Now I have hope that I will be all right.”

From across the room, a reserved woman admitted she’d felt intimidated living in that affluent community because she’d grown up poor. Someone assured her that wasn’t an issue with people living there.

A tall woman who didn’t know anyone except Lanita, began to tell about her mother’s mental breakdown and the three years she and her siblings had had to spend living apart from her parents. Several women responded to her heartache with soft words.

After a while, I commented, “If we had had a room full of people, we wouldn’t be telling each other these things,” They agreed and kept on talking.

During those unplanned 30 minutes, we became a small group of friends who felt free to share our deep hurts and fears. A desire to listen, encourage, and console one another filled our hearts.

When Lanita sensed we were finished, she ended with this: “We expected many more women to come today, but I want you to know you were chosen to be here.”

I’m sure God smiled.

Yes, we did eventually end up at the book table and everyone left with a book. For me, the priceless part came through the comment of one of the guests. “We’ve been talking, and we all want to get back together after we finish reading your book.”

Numbers don’t matter to God. He simply wants to change each heart, and He knows the best way to do that.

 

God’s Light Show

31 Thursday May 2018

Posted by gaillporter in Connections, Faith, Fear, Hope

≈ Leave a comment

2018-5-30 Sunset Light Shows _202717_HDRGod put on a light show for me last night.

Near the end of the day, I stood looking out the patio doors of my condo. I noticed a large, towering tree between two houses that peek over the fence separating that property from my complex.

Hmm…I don’t remember noticing that tree before. It’s like someone’s shining a light on it. I see blossoms at the end of the branches. 

My gaze shifted slightly to the left. A rainbow! God, you shown a light on that tree so I wouldn’t miss seeing Your gift to me.  

After opening the patio door and stepping out to my enclosed porch, I bent forward to take in the full expanse of the brilliant rainbow following a day of stormy weather. That rainbow could have arched across any area in town. God chose my backyard.

He wasn’t finished with His show. In the clear sky, three fluffy white clouds popped up, seemingly at roof level, and wisps of pink quickly embellished the center of each cloud.

As I turned to the left again, the whole sky was a soft glow of light pink. Strange, the sun isn’t setting here in the east, yet it’s so colorful. 

The front. There’s sure to be a lovely sunset out there tonight. Grabbing my cell phone, I raced to the front door and flung it open. The blazing sky characterized the aftermath of the day’s darkness, gloom, and flowing rivers down our street. Light triumphed at the bottom of the descending evening grayness, highlighted by the same wispy pink I’d seen from my back patio.

It had been a week of focusing on to-do’s for my publishing project, and fighting off personal doubts and uncertainty. God painted His rainbow across the sky as if to say, “This is for you, My child. I know how everything is going to turn out. Trust Me.”

What do rainbows represent to you?

Who will win?

27 Tuesday Feb 2018

Posted by gaillporter in Authentic, Connections, Fear, Freedom, Hope, Rejection, Strongholds

≈ Leave a comment

Fear can crop up at the strangest times.

You would think we could outsmart our most prominent fears once in a while. Especially if we’ve dealt with them for many years. Couldn’t we just tell ourselves, “This time you don’t have to give in”?

It’s not that simple.

Surrounded by friends at a recent writing conference, I felt joyful, energized, confident, eager for opportunities to encourage other conferees.

Things changed during my first workshop about integrating writing and speaking. Our leader, Linda, instructed us to choose a topic and create a short speech. Then she asked for volunteers to make their presentation to the group. I’ve done lots of speaking. My hand should have popped up right away. Instead, I sat in my chair, wrestling with my fear. What if it didn’t turn out well? What would the group think?

Finally, I talked with God. Immediately I knew I could and should confront my fear. As I faced the group, I relaxed and God took over. Ironically, my presentation related to the book I’m writing about rising above the fear of rejection by walking out of our self-made prisons in God’s strength and tasting freedom to become who God made us to be.

That walk to the front of the room became symbolic of coming out of my own prison and facing my fear that day. Because one of my classmates heard me speak, she opened some unique doors for me to promote my book. That was God’s plan all along.

My friend Dayle, writer of Tip of My Iceberg blog, shed light on my path through her  recent post. “We’ve all got potential to be more than the limits our minds and fears give us. If we give ourselves the freedom to believe in an all-powerful, all-knowing God who made us intentionally in love, we have His power to pursue dreams greater than our perceived limitations.”

I hope I remember this the next time fear tries to hold me back.

Letting the Wall Fall

28 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by gaillporter in Choices, Fear, Hope

≈ Leave a comment

Last month we talked about the Strength of Grief. That blog post centered on excerpts from a book I read. One character sought to build courage into the heart of the other one who was trying to recover from a terrifying trauma.

He said, “You survived by hiding . . . but it’s a defense. Grieving is about letting down that shield, not having to keep that defensive wall in place. When you can lower it and not get overwhelmed by the memories, you’ll know your healing is mostly complete . . . and be ready to move on.”

Today let’s talk about that “defensive wall”. It’s easy to construct. We erect it because we can’t bear the flood of emotions. Yet, facing our emotions brings healing.

I pray that the second excerpt below will shed new insight and create a desire in your heart to ask God to break down your wall, if it’s still up. He wants you to experience freedom from the inevitable grief and sadness.  And to dream again.

“I’m hoping, praying, that the wall you’ve had to put in place around yourself and your emotions will come down. That there will be more of you appearing. Wider emotional swings both up and down. More energy. Dreams for your life. Things you want. Desires of the heart. And, yes, a deeper sadness. Grieve. All of it. That’s life, and the more of it you are feeling, the closer you are to being whole again.”

“. . . It will give you the ability to see the world around you as it exists both good and bad. It will be having a life that isn’t being steered by the past, where it doesn’t feel like the past is a daily anchor weighing on your thoughts, or on your impressions of places and people. Healing will be the capacity and the ability to love family and care about friends. It will be about having dreams for yourself and the confidence to work toward them. Healing in part is being able to feel you are free of the past.”

Excerpts from page 278 of Taken.
Used by permission of the author, Dee Henderson.

Holding On

30 Saturday May 2015

Posted by gaillporter in Choices, Fear, Loss

≈ Leave a comment

I wonder how this year’s Memorial Day impacted you. Did it bring sweet memories that lifted your spirits? Or were your memories painful because they represented the sorrow of separation from someone you love? Remembering can still be painful when we are having trouble letting go.

An acquaintance of mine still wrestles with the death of his brother who lost his life in Iraq six years ago. He has been unable to reconcile with his loss, even after the passage of years.

A dear friend lost her husband when they were in their 70’s. His absence was almost more than she could bear. Even years later, when we visited together and shared refreshments, she carried an 8 x 10 framed picture of him from room to room as we moved about her home. Her depth of sorrow seemed natural, since they’d known each other since second grade. Yet, I realized that her inability to accept his death and finish her grieving season had kept her in emotional bondage. She remained sorrowful until the day she died almost 20 years later.

God wants us to remember but also to let go. Some people who read my Life through Loss book told me that the following quotes helped shift their perspective, which opened the door for healing. In memory of your loved ones, I share these excerpts from page 161.

Moving toward a new life is scary. You may be afraid if you let go of your sorrow you will forget the person.

Christine Cleary lost her husband to cancer when he was 44. She says, “Death forces you to look back, and acceptance involves slowly turning your body around to look forward. If you begin a new chapter of life, you carry the person you lost along with you.”

Someone else said, “Anyone who has lost a loved one knows that you don’t ‘recover’. Instead, you learn to incorporate their absence and memories into your life and channel your emotional energy toward others. Eventually, it has been said, your grief walks beside you instead of consuming you.”

Holly Prigerson, ‎Director of the Center for Psycho-oncology and Palliative Care Research at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, explains, “In general, bereaved survivors shouldn’t think of ‘getting over’ a loss, but develop ways to get used to it. Even years after someone dies, pangs of grief may come out of the blue, and feelings of heartache and missing the deceased are rekindled. That’s normal.”

Singing His Song

15 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by gaillporter in Fear

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Bible verses, Faith, Moving on

The Jesus Calling daily devotional book by Sarah Young is designed as though Jesus is talking to me. Often the message seems especially designed for me that day. It happened again recently.

These sentences caught my attention because they addressed a major stronghold in my life: FEAR. “Do not let fear dissipate your energy. Instead, invest your energy in trusting Me and singing My Song.”

This is such an interesting picture of investing my energy in trusting Him as opposed to pouring my energy into fighting my fear. Fear is the opposite of trust and it drains my energy. On the days I ask myself, “Why am I so tired?” I may not have recognized fear as the culprit. If adopted as a way of life, fear will keep me weak.

Isaiah 12:2, the related verse for that day’s devotional, says, “…I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and song.” It is only by trusting in Him, and activating the strength He gives me, that I can move forward.

When I am engaged in trusting Him, that’s when the music begins. In that moment the strains of “His Song” will flow from my lips.

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Will the Real Person Please Stand Up!

Book Launched!November 1, 2018

Will the Real Person Please Stand Up!

ESCAPE CAPTIVITY from your fear of rejection so you can EXPERIENCE FREEDOM to be the Real You God created you to be.

Life through Loss

Do you feel stuck in your unwanted season of loss? Discover how to take the next small step forward. A new life of purpose is waiting for you just around the bend.

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Sometimes brokenness shows you a new way to love

The Significant Woman

A life-coaching discipleship course that helps you connect with God and discover your own personal mission

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A life-coaching course that shows you how to go from where you are to where you want to be

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