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Live above Fear

Category Archives: Authentic

A New Kind of Thanksgiving

22 Friday Nov 2019

Posted by gaillporter in Authentic, Choices, Freedom, Journey

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Photo by Ashwini Chaudhary on Unsplash

“A little boy in a Vietnamese immigrant family was learning English. He had
a particular problem with ‘g’s’ and ‘l’s’. On Thanksgiving Day, he attended
church services with his family. After the service he shook my hand and said,
‘Happy Thanksliving!’ Not a bad description of real thanksgiving. When we
are truly thankful, it radically affects our living.”

This devotional story by Dr. Lloyd John Ogilvie moved my spirit. Reading it also unleashed a new commitment within me. Beginning today, I want to freely and genuinely express thanksgiving to God, and to the people around me, every
day so I’m truly engaged in “Thanksliving.”

Will you join me? Let’s make this Thanksgiving Day and all the days beyond it
an experience of “thanksliving” and watch how it changes our lives.

The Downside of People Pleasing

31 Thursday Oct 2019

Posted by gaillporter in Authentic, Choices, Freedom

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I still struggle with what people think of me.

Proof surfaced during the opening night of the annual Word Weavers retreat in Leesburg, Florida. We were asked to dress as our favorite detective to coincide with the theme: Your Identity as Writers. I chose Miss Marple, the unexpected detective created by the famous mystery writer, Agatha Christie. My costume was a big hit! So what could go wrong?

Well, the MC asked us to come to the podium and explain who we were. My introduction brought smiles. Unfortunately, I threw out two more comments as if I were the real Miss Marple. The first brought a chuckle, the second dead silence and blank stares. Hurrying to my seat, my mind bombarded me with accusations. “You talked too long. Why did you try to be clever? You changed their positive view of you.”

After wrestling with my thoughts for a while, I remembered the solution…once again. My new freedom allows me to make mistakes without focusing on what people might think. It felt good to let go of that silly incident, confess my self-centered thoughts, and thank God that my flaws and imperfections help me be a real person to the people I meet.

“I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real.”
Shaun Hick

Leigh McLeroy, in The Sacred Ordinary, explains, “I was a performing child, and I remember performing well—not only because I wanted the satisfaction of doing a thing rightly but because I wanted the praise that typically comes with achievement. . . . (My parents) praised my efforts and my accomplishments, and I liked that very much. But I also believe . . . that they would have loved me just as much had I not performed so well. I believe this because I love the children in my life, even when they don’t shine. . . . Where love is concerned, it’s belonging that counts—not performing.”

She ends with I Corinthians 13:7-8, “[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. . . .” Then Leigh asks, “What could you do that could make [God] love you more? He has already given everything to make you his.”

God longs for us to bask in His love, the best defense against whatever our minds might prompt us to do, especially in front of an audience.

Have you had an embarrassing, people-pleasing moment? What did you learn from it?

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Unfinished Story

04 Tuesday Sep 2018

Posted by gaillporter in Authentic, Captivity, Choices, Freedom, Hope, Journey, Life

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Not end of story 9-2018

MY STORY HASN’T ENDED!

This was my first response to this image I received from my long-time friend, Shirley Mewhinney. As co-mentors, we process life together.

We’ve relayed stories about our past and laughed, and cried, and mourned with each other. These stories have shaped who we are, but we celebrate each time we let go of the past and live as the person God desires us to be today. We marvel at this truth: who we are today is not who we will be tomorrow.

Sometimes Shirley and I find ourselves momentarily believing that the stories of our past define who we are today. When we recall the regrets and missed opportunities, the heartaches and pain, the mistakes and disappointments, we begin to believe we will never change.

Shirley’s reflections

Over the years, I often felt my story ended in a country far away but not forgotten. Past experiences sometimes defined my life. The steps forward felt as if I was letting go of my dream to live and minister in that country for many years to come.  

In looking back, I realize that the choices and chapters of the past few decades represent only part of my story. This is not where my story ends as there are more chapters to be written. Even in fragile moments, and during wilderness wanderings, I am still living the story God wants to write through my life and by faith, I have taken steps that have led me out of the wilderness. 

My future remains uncertain. It won’t be the same as I dreamed many years ago. Slowly, a new dream will emerge as God uses past experiences – both joyful and sorrowful – to mold and equip me for a new ministry to others who have been wounded by pain and disappointment.  

As the above image indicates, at any given moment, I have the personal power, and the power of the Holy Spirit, to say, “This is not how my story is going to end.” 

My reflections

In earlier years, the fear of rejection held me captive to the approval of others. To protect myself, I stayed aloof and reserved, didn’t allow others to know me well, and avoided any risk of disappointing them. I believe I convinced myself that this was the best way to live and the best kind of person to be.

God wasn’t finished writing my story, though. He began to reveal that my isolation kept me in bondage to my fear and prevented me from experiencing the life He intended me to have. Slowly He gave me courage to come out of my prison and take small steps toward releasing my fear and experiencing freedom to become the person He wants me to be.

I’m learning to trust God for the responses of people and stay focused on His view of me. Through consciously making these choices, I’ve been able to enjoy the new chapters God is writing in my story and the opportunities He’s giving me to help others find freedom from their fears. My life can become a continuing story of God’s faithfulness.

 

How would you describe your life story so far? What positive and negative experiences have shaped who you are today and affected the way you think and live? Do you believe that God is still writing your story…that He isn’t finished yet?

A Magical Moment

28 Saturday Jul 2018

Posted by gaillporter in Authentic, Choices, Connections

≈ 2 Comments

The little girl in the pink polka-dot dress and her charming younger brother, who wore a cute plaid hat to complete his outfit, caught my attention.

They had accompanied their parents to Panera’s, and chosen seats nearby where I sat doing book editing. Occasionally glancing in their direction, I noticed the parent’s attentiveness and the children’s comfortable banter between bites.

When they stood to leave, the father walked toward me first. “What a lovely family you have,” I exclaimed.

He smiled and thanked me. His wife called her thanks from their table, before turning to gather her children. I smiled as they passed by and returned to my project.

Soon a fluttering of pink caught my eye. As I turned around, I looked into the face of the sweet girl, who hovered shyly near the back of my chair.

“Come here!” I said, as I reached out. After our hug, I kept my arm around her. “You’re so cute. I like your pink glasses. What’s your name?”

“Rachel.” Her eyes smiled at me and then glanced toward the door.

As I turned further, I caught a glimpse of her father standing out of the way, giving us girls our special moment. When I released her, Rachel smiled and waved goodbye, as if signaling that her personal mission had been accomplished.

For me that was a magical moment. I contemplated the changes I’ve seen in my life that enabled me to welcome Rachel to my side with such joy and delight. Her personal desire to spend that moment with me left a deep impression in my heart.

I celebrated that I’ve become more open with children. You see, I’ve always felt a bit disadvantaged because I didn’t grow up with younger siblings or raise children of my own. Many times I felt inadequate to reach out to them.

God began some specialized training after He took my brother Greig to heaven in 2010. With His guidance, I became a hands-on aunt to Greig’s four adult children, which extended to three great nieces and eventually one great-great niece. Gradually I learned to relax and be myself and genuinely enjoy their presence and their love. Together we’ve created priceless memories.

The greatest difference I’ve seen is with my 10-year-old great niece Piper. At first, I worried if she would have a good time at my home and enjoy me personally. Eventually I realized I didn’t need to entertain her. What she wanted most were my time and attention. Piper accepted me simply as her Aunt Gail without any expectations.

I thought I loved Piper. In truth, I sincerely desired to love her but remained a bit guarded. God opened my heart fully during one of her recent visits. New and unfamiliar emotions bubbled up from inside of me.

By embracing those emotions, I was able to begin loving Piper in a way I’d never loved her or any of my family. Her love and acceptance gave me courage to let my heart be more visible and verbally express my love to her.

This new freedom around children is what enabled me to open myself to my little friend Rachel. She’ll never know the magic she created when she smiled and hugged her way into my heart. I loved that we could be together, enjoying each other, without expectations.

That’s what God loves, too. He invites us, as His children, to relax in His presence and simply be who we are.

Who will win?

27 Tuesday Feb 2018

Posted by gaillporter in Authentic, Connections, Fear, Freedom, Hope, Rejection, Strongholds

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Fear can crop up at the strangest times.

You would think we could outsmart our most prominent fears once in a while. Especially if we’ve dealt with them for many years. Couldn’t we just tell ourselves, “This time you don’t have to give in”?

It’s not that simple.

Surrounded by friends at a recent writing conference, I felt joyful, energized, confident, eager for opportunities to encourage other conferees.

Things changed during my first workshop about integrating writing and speaking. Our leader, Linda, instructed us to choose a topic and create a short speech. Then she asked for volunteers to make their presentation to the group. I’ve done lots of speaking. My hand should have popped up right away. Instead, I sat in my chair, wrestling with my fear. What if it didn’t turn out well? What would the group think?

Finally, I talked with God. Immediately I knew I could and should confront my fear. As I faced the group, I relaxed and God took over. Ironically, my presentation related to the book I’m writing about rising above the fear of rejection by walking out of our self-made prisons in God’s strength and tasting freedom to become who God made us to be.

That walk to the front of the room became symbolic of coming out of my own prison and facing my fear that day. Because one of my classmates heard me speak, she opened some unique doors for me to promote my book. That was God’s plan all along.

My friend Dayle, writer of Tip of My Iceberg blog, shed light on my path through her  recent post. “We’ve all got potential to be more than the limits our minds and fears give us. If we give ourselves the freedom to believe in an all-powerful, all-knowing God who made us intentionally in love, we have His power to pursue dreams greater than our perceived limitations.”

I hope I remember this the next time fear tries to hold me back.

God Knew

21 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by gaillporter in Authentic, Faith

≈ 1 Comment

Have you ever had something on your shopping list for a long time, but somehow can’t seem to check it off? I have. One particular item: a fern. A neighbor in my condo building moved away recently and left her outside potted fern for the rest of us to enjoy. But it didn’t survive. Ever since then I planned to look for a replacement in the plant section of a home improvement store, but things kept coming up.

Recently I was purchasing groceries at a nearby store, which I frequent often. As I pushed my cart away from the produce section and started walking through the adjacent flower section toward the next designated aisle, I paused.

“Wonder if they have a fern?” In the middle of that crazy thought I spotted one beautiful, fresh fern standing proudly among short flowering plants. I knew God intended it for me. Lifting it up I discovered it was the right size with a low price tag.

Fern DSCN2755-1While paying my bill at the check-out counter, I commented to the cashier, “Isn’t that a beautiful fern? I needed one.” She responded, “I don’t ever remember seeing one here.” I smiled.

God knew my long-time desire to find that special item. Such a small thing in the scheme of life, but He fulfilled my desire—simply because He loves me. And His gift, now perched outside our front door, serves as my daily reminder.

My Nephew’s Text

21 Thursday Aug 2014

Posted by gaillporter in Authentic, Choices, Connections

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“Thinking of your dad today. Hard to believe it’s been 4 years. Love you.” I sent that text to my nephew Casey (my brother’s son) on the anniversary that his father passed away.

I intended to make Casey feel loved and remembered. Because of our shared experience with his father’s battle against leukemia and his eventual death, Casey and I had grown closer. He showed his love through texting, phoning, visiting and sending pictures of his daughter.

When Casey’s reply popped up, I stared at my phone. “I wasn’t thinking about today. Wouldn’t have known unless you said something. I try to think about him living, not dying.”

Startled, my heart sank. I wanted to encourage him, but it seemed I’d offended him instead.

What should I do? I could react and defend myself or ask God to help me respond the way He would. I wondered, was I too focused on Greig’s illness and death?  Had I barricaded myself in a prison where sitting in sadness was my only agenda?  By choosing to stay aware of his absence had I hindered my ability to picture where he lived now and what my life could be like without him?

God reminded me of a favorite verse that answered my questions. Isaiah 43:18-19 says, “Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it?”

Casey-Gail scene IMG_7566-002I decided to follow God’s way and that choice opened my eyes to see things from His perspective. I realized that Casey wasn’t trying to attack me; he was expressing what he does to keep his dad’s memory alive.

The next morning I sent the answer I knew would please God: “Great perspective. You’re right. He is alive!” Our positive communication led to other honest conversations.

Now I’m experiencing emotional freedom from dwelling on the absence of my brother. I’m glad Casey sent his text. He taught me that every day I can celebrate Greig’s life—a life that will last throughout eternity.

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Will the Real Person Please Stand Up!

Book Launched!November 1, 2018

Will the Real Person Please Stand Up!

ESCAPE CAPTIVITY from your fear of rejection so you can EXPERIENCE FREEDOM to be the Real You God created you to be.

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